As a parent you have spent many years care and child protection. Now this child is a teenager and thinks he / she an adult, and do not hesitate to tell you! (Hot key) you can try to find oneself, to impose their own logic and life experience. (Hot key) feels the need to "fix" for them. After all, you did it, no? (Hot Button) This approach often leaves you and your child frustrated.
Many of our responses are derived from our fearsour children. When my children are now in their early 20s to ask me when I stop to think about it, I tell them it will not happen until they stop breathing. I will always take care of it. That 's what parents feel. But there is a difference between your thoughts and feelings and your actions / reactions. Here you can learn to be aware of your hot button and do not act on them.
All parents too often feel that they react immediately - with the advice, yes or no to a request or consequences. AButton has been pressed and your gut tells you to act. Instead, take a moment to breathe and reflect. Think about it and said: "I come with you to make ends meet," or "I have strong feelings about what he said .." It 'good to solve and check what you really want to say. If you feel that way, you can tell your child that is really heard. You are beginning to break walls and opened the door to significantCommunication.
Reaction and response in a thought, less emotional way is crucial to a healthy relationship between you and your child. A book that I have the skills to be useful in improving communication and listening is like talking Mazlish so Teens Will Listen and lists the students will talk by Adele Faber, Elaine E. It 'easy to read and full of expertise and possible strategies for parents of teenagers.
There is no easy button inParenthood, but they can cool your hot buttons and pull the baby close. It's never too late to start.
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